Darren Bruce blogs about his year as Mr. Gay Canada, and here is his report on MGW 2009 in Whistler, Canada

The big winner of the week was Mr. Gay Ireland, Max Kryzanowski! The Mr. Gay World competition left me with a greater sense of purpose and a deeper understanding of the issues in the world we face today. It also left me with some great new friends from all over the world. The following is a summary of the events and activities that we did during the week. This includes some of the lessons I learned and the ideas we shared.

Firstly, I must say that I was very impressed with the calibre of the men in this competition. Each of them was sexy, smart, ambitious, passionate, fun, kind, socially aware, and special in their own way. We hailed from different countries around the world; however, our cultural and ideological differences seemed to dissipate as our shared desire to change the world brought us together.

The first event was a welcome dinner at the Barefoot Bistro, and the food was excellent. It was also an opportunity to talk to some of the guys for the first time. However, communication was a challenge as English was the second language for the majority of the delegates. For example, the only thing Mr. Gay Brazil and I could say to each other was our country names. So every time he walked past me he would chant “Canada! Canada!”, it was cute.

The next big event was the Fashion Show, hosted by Charlie David. This was a fun show. The theme of one of the scenes was traditional country costumes. Of course, the one I chose was a Mountie outfit; it was a tossup between that or a beaver. Most of the costumes had a mild gay twist to them, but they each embodied something of the delegate’s home culture.

First thing Friday morning, we had media training with Wayne from Reputations. He told us about how to speak to the media and how to get your message across. Specifically, he emphasized keeping sentences short to give editors something to work with, to have a message, to know your audience, and to bridge answers so that you end up talking about what you want or what you think is important. Very useful stuff, but as I learned you have to practice to get good at it.

On Friday evening, we had a couple of hours before bed to hangout, so of course we ended up in the hot tub. We were staying at the ski in-out Marriott residences. I had always seen the place going up the chairlift at the base of Blackcomb, so it was neat to actually stay there.

Saturday morning started off with the individual photo shoots for the Mr. Gay World calendar. The preparation done for these shoots was amazing. They actually had a pair of white faux fur German mountaineering pants made for me. I wore those with some bling jewellery, sunglasses, a billowing scarf, rolling luggage, books, and an old fashion camera on a tripod. All in white, and all done in 30 minute… Funds raised by calendar sales will go to support future delegates who cannot afford to make the trip to the final on their own and other charities that support gay rights.

Then there were the panel interviews. We were each given 10 minutes to answer the international panel’s questions. We had all been told that the interviews were the most important scoring event of the week, and there was tension in the air. My interview started off with a question regarding a forum on coming out in school that I spoke at a few months ago: “what do you want to do in the future to encourage gay youth to come out in school?” This question threw me off. For some reason something was not sitting right with me. I can only talk about things that I feel strongly towards and for this question I was at a loss. I mumbled about how tough being gay is in schools, especially in rural communities, but I did not answer the question.

It was not until later that I realized what was not right - I do not want to encourage kids to be openly gay. I feel that coming out is something that each person needs to come to terms with in their own time. For example, I personally was not mature enough to come out when I was in high school; I needed to get out into the world to figure out who I was and what I wanted out of life. However, I do want youth to have an environment that they feel comfortable to come out in should they choose to. I also want students to know that being gay is normal and to be supportive when people around them decide to take down their barriers and to be themselves. As a role model, Mr. Gay World is just as important for straight people as it is for homosexuals. We need to tell everyone that it is ok to be gay, not just gay people.

I was also asked, “Why should you be Mr. Gay World”. I was a few sentences into my response when the fire alarm in the hotel went off. Fifteen minutes later I was back in the interview seat being asked a new question. I felt like I lost an opportunity to tell the panel what I wanted to do to make a difference and how.

I left the interview feeling that I had not accurately portrayed who I was or what I wanted to do. Thinking back, I should have answered the question they asked and then bridged over to something mildly related to the question that I wanted to talk about. For example, when asked to say a bit about myself, I should have briefly said where I am from and what I believe in and then bridged over to discuss the lack of human rights in many countries around the world. Something like that would have answered the question, shown that I am knowledgeable about world issues, and demonstrated that I care about others besides myself.

The finale was hosted by Mark Tewksbury, and I think he did a great job. All the delegates were anxious about the final event, and being worn out from the week of non-stop activities and too little sleep did not help. I made the top ten and so had to answer the question “Why should you be Mr. Gay World”. I responded, “As Mr. Gay World, I will be a strong role model both nationally and international for anyone struggling to define or express their sexuality”. This was the largest audience that I had ever spoken in front of, so I was a bit nervous. Perhaps my answer sounded a bit scripted, as it was memorized, but I was happy with it given my experience speaking in front of large crowds. However, next time I will try to speak more from the heart and less from the head.

I survived the next round of eliminations to make the top six. I was asked a question from the audience along the lines of: “Which organization is your favourite?”. After a brief pause, I said that I liked PFLAG (Parents, Families and Friends of Lesbians and Gays) because family support is very important for young gay guys who are coming out. I went further to say that many guys end up homeless or committing suicide due to rejection or fear of rejection from family and friends. I felt this was a good answer, but I think it would have had a stronger delivery if I was more confident. In the end, I finished up in the 5th runner up position, which I am happy with.

After the show, we went back to the hotel, got changed, and headed down to the Snowball party. It was great to dance and relax with the other delegates because it was the first chance that we had to be ourselves and to have fun. We danced to DJ Ana Paula from Brazil until late in the night; however, the lack of sleep from the previous nights finally caught up to us. A few of us got a pizza and went back to the hotel.

On Sunday, we said our goodbyes. In the future, I hope that Max (Mr. Gay World) utilizes the other delegates to help implement change around the world.  Homophobia, for instance, is an international problem and can only be addressed as such. Furthermore, I think we should work together to use our region specific knowledge to help penetrate and influence people, organizations, and governments around the world. For example, putting pressure on governments to revise human rights legislation to include homosexuals is something that would be much more effectively done as a unified international group (e.g. having multiple countries ban trade with homophobic ones).

Also, I would like to work with the other delegates to share information regarding gay issues in our countries and to propose solutions that could help tackle them. There are a lot of good ideas, but they are not much good if no one knows of them. Perhaps this could be facilitated though utilization of the Mr. Gay World Facebook group? Homophobia, safe sex, human rights, and equality are tough issues and we are much stronger to effect a change if we work together; no one can do it all on their own. Finally, we need to take some of the rhetoric of the past week and apply it in the form of action in the real world. After all, words without action are merely words.

Read more from Darrens blog here